John von Neumann said that chess isn't a game. Baseball is a game. Poker is a game. Chess is a calculation — there are right answers.
That's how I feel about golf.
Golf is a calculation. An elaborate function that ultimately reduces to a single number — the number we call your score. And the odd thing about golf is that the lowest score wins.
All the early mornings. All the wasted money. All the annoyed wives. All of it spent in the asymptotic pursuit of a limit — every golfer straining toward the same limit.
And that limit is where I live.
I live on the golf asymptote. The limit all golfers are reaching for. And I'm already there — with a score of zero. The lowest score of all.
I wouldn't say I've won at golf.
I'd say I've solved it. I've solved golf.
And the answer is zero.